this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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