Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
