he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
