i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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