I want to make a zoo with you.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
