she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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