So drunk its hurt
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
