I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
