when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
