So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
a search helicopter?!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
