If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
