i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
