Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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