I faked an abortion last night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
