It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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