So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
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i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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