You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
