Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
