Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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