What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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