You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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