you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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