Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
