Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I love you.
Bad choice
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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