I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize