We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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