is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
