so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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