you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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