I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
