They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
