I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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