Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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