if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Someone signed my nipple.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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