I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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