Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
