Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
