I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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