i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
