I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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