Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
