the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she smelled like a LAN party
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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