Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
