I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
