Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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