"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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