I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
