im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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