your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
grandma shit on top of the toilet
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
