So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
