Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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