I want to have your abortion
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
