normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
