And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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