the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
