you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
