Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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