the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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