you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
