Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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