a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
